Black people...how y'all doing today?
I underestimated how weighty it would feel to come to work in a predominately White female environment. I'm very aware of how many times I'm asked "How are you?" In guest service, fashion retail, it's just a natural cadence.
Me: "Hey, Ladies! How are you today?"
Guests: "Good! How are you?"
Me: "I'm great! Glad to have you."
I feel like I'm lying every time.
I'm not great. I'm wondering what your social media timelines look like. I'm wondering if you know that Black people are having a hard, painful time. I wonder if you care. I wonder if you wonder why we're struggling right now. I wonder if you've ever once feared for your brothers, your sons, your husbands, your fathers...
"Hey, Ladies! How are you?"
"Good! How are you?"
"I'm great!"
But I'm not great. My smile is heavy. Between this facial mask and this racial mask, I'm not great.
I can literally feel my breathing change with every exchange. But I can breathe. So many others breathe no more...💔
"How are you?"
Simple words. Complex emotions.
White people, I love you. But I realize that you are both bound and free by your skin. Bound by limited perspective and understanding; free to live without fear, and for now, without consequence. I wonder if you realize it, too.
Today, I'm not okay. My pen needs a release. All I really want to say is..."Stop killing us. Please."
~Audrey
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